considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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