you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
They have beer where we have blood.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
