So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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