so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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