just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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