His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
