I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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