guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
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