Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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