I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
