Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i think i have herpe
just one?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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