a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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