i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I love you.
Bad choice
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
