ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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