Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
