Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
