with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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