dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize