Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
