i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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