She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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