I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
