I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
