you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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