You work out of a Hotel?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
His nipple licking is glorious
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