Barsexuality is the new black.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
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Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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