last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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