i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
