found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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