so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
