He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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