Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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