There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize