Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
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I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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