Got a toothbrush?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
