whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize