so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
