i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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