pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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