omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You left your phone here
Wait...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
