in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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