Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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