On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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