I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Why is there bacon in the couch?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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