dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
