he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
