finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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