You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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