just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
