Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
cat food counts as protein by the way
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
