I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
