WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
