I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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