During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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