I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?