if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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