He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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