We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
