I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
